LMV- part 3

Originally uploaded by Boccacino

I know that usually when people talk about losing their virginity they only have one story to tell; I've never been accused of being normal so what can I say. In Losing My Virginity- part 2 I shared about my first two sexual experiences with my boyfriend. It was not a great experience but I felt that I learned a lot from it. The best thing I learned is that he was not worth my time and that I needed to move on so I broke up with him. I think both of us thought good riddance to our loveless relationship.

My life returned to normal until Nancy, my best friend, had a sweet sixteen party. I was one of 4 hostesses for the party and I took the title very seriously. I remember when Nancy me a microphone instructing me to walk on the stage and direct everyone to the cake table so that we could sing Happy Birthday to her. I would only be five sentences, but I was terrified at the thought of public speaking, not only that but I hated the sound of my voice amplified. I asked her to get someone else to do it but she insisted and I knew that I had to push through. I told myself that you don’t have time to be scared just make sure your friend is having a good time.

Late I noticed Nancy’s disappointed face. Without asking I knew what was wrong. Her parents had splurged and paid for a professional DJ, but not one had even touched the dance floor. Unfortunately I'd never danced in public and I was scared that everyone would laugh at me. I was tempted to ignore my friend or just try to will others to dance through osmosis but I knew that it was time to be courageous. So with fear and trembling I walked to the middle of the dance floor, faced 200 guest, placed my hands on my hips and preformed the only dance appropriate to the song playing at the time; I shook my hips to “Doing Da Butt”. I danced and pulled people to the floor until the dance floor was packed. You should have seen it, one of the best parties ever been. I continued dancing all night long and heard whispers, “she must be drunk or something”, and I could help but laugh because I just as surprised at myself. The experience started out as selfless but turned into a huge turning point for me. I now had a lot more confidence, and become outgoing over night.

Later that week my best friend called and told me that her cousin had a crush on me and wanted my phone number, I faintly remembered his face and told her it was ok to give him my number. His name was Dean and he called me a few minutes later but our conversation was very short. He seemed nice and all but there was no chemistry. My friend told me later that he thought I talked like a valley girl and it annoyed him; people make fun of me for that but I couldn’t help it, just something I'd picked up from my Texas days. I assumed that was that but the next day he called me again. I don’t know what happened but we were on the phone for two hours and by the end of the conversation I was in love. I had never experienced that much chemistry with anyone, and I could not remember what he looked like but it did not matter to me.

We talked all the time on the phone and he professed his love to me, it was so romantic. I was hard to maintain a relationship because we had trouble seeing each other. At 14 years old I still had 1 1/2 years before my mother would allow me to date. The only time I’d see Dean was over Nancy’s house, and I when I did I realized that he was so cute. One day at Nancy's, Dean smiled slyly and said he was going to have to kidnap me soon. I asked him what he meant and he said the he wanted me to skip school and come over his house; I was very nervous and very excitedly so I said OK.

Two days later I took a bus to his house. The experience was kind of surreal and very scary: this was my first time skipping school, I’d never been to his house before and he lived in another city so it took me 1 ½ hour to get to his house. But when I saw him everything felt right, he waited for me at the bus stop and grab my hand and held it all the way to his house. If I’m not mistaken I think we had our first kiss there. It was so magical and the chemistry was crazy. He took me to the bedroom and our clothes starting flying. I was great until it was obvious that he wanted intercourse and I got nervous. My body was more than ready and I really liked him but I thought it was too soon.

He was respectful but persistent. At one point I felt bad that I’d gotten physical without the intention of going all the way. The guilt coupled with visions of not being able to find my way home without him helped me decide to go for it. As far as sexually, the experience was incredible. I climaxed a lot, and so did he. We only took a break because I had to go to the bathroom. That’s when I learned two things, one the house had no running water, and two he’d taken my virginity. I’m did not know that you bleed the first time you have sex. And now there was no a good way to clean up. (His family owned it but no one lived so they turned off the electricity and the water). I went back into the bedroom a little embarrassed but Dean grabbed me and we continued. Know I am a little noisy but I thought I heard someone inside the house. He insisted that I was hearing things but I made him stop and check it out. He got dressed and closed the door behind him. Within seconds I heard him talking to someone, at first I could not make out what he was saying but the tone his voice told me that everything was okay. Still I wanted to know who is person.

Now I could clearly hear them and it was a woman so I started grabbing my clothes just in case. It was obvious that she’d heard us but she did not seem upset. I don’t remember the words that helped me realize that this was his mother! My heart started pounding and the wait was unbearable. I listened intently and was shocked when I heard her say, just make me some grandbabies. Then they laughed and she left the house???? What! I mean I was very happy that I would live another day, but I can't believe she would leave your sixteen old son alone with his half dressed 14 year old girlfriend whom she’d never meet and tell him to make some babies???????????? Good thing we were playing it safe; he was using the withdrawal method, so no babies for us.

The day ended with Dean walking me back to the bus stop. When I got home late I lied to my mom, telling her that the bus broke down, trying to be as vague as possible. It was a long and emotionally draining day and exciting day. I’d not planned on lying and I felt really guilty for it. I can't say that I regretted it though. That day I experienced true love like never before. Not only was I with a man that loved and respected me but he knew how to hold me too. I had not planned the events of the day, any of it, but I was happy it happened that way; if nothing else I knew that I would always have a story to tell.

Related Links:

Don't Lose Your Virginity On A Roach Infested Bed- post on Don't Be A Slut


Dani said...

I can't believe that his mother was ok with it and encouraging it...that is crazy!

LLnL said...

I know...I actually never met his mother, but I did not want to. I'd be too embarrassed and confused. My mother would not react like that... More on that next week.

Don't Be a Slut said...

Again, funny that we as women are raised to "feel guilty" if we don't go all the way.

LLnL said...

My problem is I wasn't raised that way. I had not heard the word tease and the only pressure I feel were in those two instances. I just really did not know how to say no or why I should say it. At that time I wished their were rules like what age you should start having sex, because I did not know how to make a good decision regarding sex. I never really thought of sex outside of these instances. So I had no plan.

LazyKing said...

Well, Moms always have our back :) but it would be CRAZY if a dad spotted his daughter with a boyfriend.

LLnL said...

A dad spotting a daughter is not a pretty sight.